Growing up in a conservative community meant that Jay self-censored her song writing all her life. “I was scared of being anything. Of being my true self” she says. “Scared of stretching my vocal range in case people who liked the soft folk stuff didn’t care for it, scared of writing pop songs because that might be seen as too commercial, scared of talking about my experience with racism in case my white friends and family got upset. I had spent my whole life, putting aside my emotional needs to make sure I wasn’t offending anyone, especially the evangelical church I grew up in. I was discouraged from wearing anything ‘too revealing’. I had struggled through awful bouts of anxiety and depression because of situations I was encouraged not to talk about, in order to ‘show love and forgiveness’ to others. I was quietly disappearing.” Enter 2020. It was a massive wake up call for Jay. “Covid hit, I got really sick, at home, then I had long Covid for 9 months. I sat and watched people I thought I knew make insanely racist comments online, churches were trying to break rules to get people to meet together, calling masks ‘persecution’ while the virus was still rampant, meanwhile my Facebook feed was full of Trump supporters. I thought, screw this! I’m going to go and make the music I’ve always wanted to. And I’m going to wear tiny, little gold shorts. Bye!”

Jay Mousa-Mann